I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
