at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
