What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
