either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
