who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
