You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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