Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
