....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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