My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
