Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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