Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
