I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
