So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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