I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
