I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
What a dumb baby whore.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
