anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
