break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
