i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize