he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
