You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
