He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
