I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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