Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
