Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
