I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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