Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
