So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
