I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
