I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
