at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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