He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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