I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
