It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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