in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
