My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
