On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize