drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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