Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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