Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize