So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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