your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
