she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
