I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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