On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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