I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
