Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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