when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
