My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
