do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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