He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
