We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize