This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
