Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
