do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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