I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
