pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize