What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
