He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
