Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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