I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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