i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
