I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
