Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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