hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
